It's all YOUR fault!

I went to the same school for 12 years, grew up with almost the same kids from kindergarten until I graduated.

Studying all those years in the same school means most of us knew a lot about each other, we’ve seen so many phases…however, we were also growing up…we didn’t understand emotional intelligence or inflicting pain or anything of that sort. Most of us just spoke what came to mind and some of us got hurt on the receiving end.

I’ve been on both ends and watched my peers be on both ends. Which means, after the first conflict ends, the next time a conflict comes up, the one who got hurt would say “Last time you hurt me so much, this is all your fault!”

So often, when someone wrongs us, we continuously replay the situation in our heads or bring it up repeatedly in conversation. What we don’t realize is that by doing this, we’re inflicting that emotional pain upon ourselves all over again.

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Now, let’s dive in!

In yesterday’s video, I talked about a book that made me think so much about this, the book is called "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz.

One of the agreements focuses on how we can free ourselves from emotional pain by practicing forgiveness—not just for others but primarily for ourselves. Each time we remind ourselves or someone else of a past grievance, we are essentially reliving the hurt, frustration, or anger that came with it.

This cycle becomes exhausting and damaging, trapping us in the negative energy of the past. Forgiveness, as Ruiz suggests, is not about condoning bad behavior but about allowing ourselves to break free from this cycle. It’s about healing from within and reclaiming our emotional well-being by accepting what happened and moving forward with boundaries and wisdom. This idea—that forgiveness is for us more than it is for others—is transformative!!!

It shifts the focus from external justice to internal peace. Instead of constantly punishing ourselves by revisiting painful moments, we can let go, learn the lessons, and prioritize our mental and emotional well-being.

This lesson can be applied not only in our personal lives but also in our professional relationships. Whether it's dealing with a difficult client, a colleague who crossed a line, or a missed opportunity, we have to learn to forgive ourselves and others, so we don’t carry the weight of resentment into our future.

For those who are looking for more insightful reads, I think you will love my Top 4 Books You MUST Read BEFORE 2024 Ends video, and this book made the list!

Happy Sunday and I wish you a great week ahead!!!

Also, do you like receiving topics like this on Sundays? Let me know!

Until Thursday,

Anusha Kannan

THIS WEEK ON The Pivot to Balance Podcast

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